Happy super late birthday Grif

What is wrong with me?  Don't actually answer that.  I don't really want to know but I do know that I've lost my mind.  I have hit that stage in life where I walk into a room and forget why I'm there.  I can't remember the names of my kids.  I've just started calling them all dude all the time and whoever comes running or asks what? is the one I pick on. They are starting to catch on and nobody answers me anymore. 

 A couple of months ago I showered with my socks on.  That's how bad it has gotten. 

The stress of trying to sale our house has not helped the situation and because of that I forgot my Birthday post for Grifin.  So here it is....two weeks late. (I'm sorry Grif.  I love you! Please don't hate me)  

The big 1-0

Here is my meager attempt at decorating for him.  A birthday banner across his doorway and 2 balloons.  Go me! I'm sure he's standing there thinking what the heck is this supposed to be.  My mom is losing it. Seriously stop judging me.  I am not the Pinterest decorating mom with the fancy decor and over-the-top parties.  I can't do everything, people.

We went to Texas Roadhouse and about had to leave.  It was family night and the creepy giant armadillo was roaming around greeting kids.  As soon as Baylor saw him he had a meltdown.  Started screaming (thank heavens Texas Roadhouse is obnoxiously loud) and tried to make a beeline for the door.  Luckily Nate, being the awesome dad he is, picked him up and made him sit.  Later made him go meet creepy armadillo and Baylor punched it in the face.  I do believe the workers encouraged it but you never can be too sure around here. 

Back to the Birthday Boy. Happy Happy Birthday Gus Gus.  You make things interesting around here and I love it.  What would we do without you?  Keep being stubborn and strong-willed it makes you who you are.  Love you, kid.

Big changes are coming, I think

It's been ten years since Nate and I moved into our little home.  We have known for all ten of those years it would never be our final destination as a family.  The last five or so we have been dipping our toes in the water trying to decide if we should jump in or not. The time has come.  But I'm still standing at the edge of the pool having a bit of a breakdown. (I think it may have something to do with my previous post about me hating water, even though this has absolutely nothing to do with water).
To actually spit the words out "our house is for sale" sends me into a panic almost every time.  We know it's the right decision, my knees are killing me I have been praying so much about it.  Still, I am a worrier.  My mind always goes to the what ifs: what if our house won't sale, what if I don't end up liking the house we build, what if something happens and one of us can't work, what if we don't have anywhere to live when it does sale, (and most importantly )what if we never get to go to Disneyland again......

Then I always worry about what people will say/think: How can the Wright's afford to build a new house? why would they spend the money to build something that's only a little bigger than what they were in? why isn't Nate taking his family to Disneyland instead?  This brain of mine never stops spinning and some days I really, really need it to stop. I know this has nothing to do with anyone else.  This is for me and Nate to worry about.  And worrying I do.  He about walked out the door the other day when I asked him where I would put the ironing board.  If he's still by my side after this whole process then the rest of our marriage should be smooth sailing.

Anyway, our house is officially for sale and I have never been so stressed about something in my life. Okay, yes I have but this is on the list of top 5. Top 10 for sure.  

Don't get me wrong here, I am super excited to open a new chapter and build a new home.  It's just a scary change for me.  More of a house payment, meaning I will have to go back to work sooner than anticipated.  More house to clean.  More room for my children to destroy things, or each other. I make it sound like we are building a castle which we are definitely not.  Just something a little bigger with a garage.  Oh how Nate has needed a garage for so many years now.  Too many times he's had to work on vehicles in the heat or cold.  He says it's an investment.  I say it still sucks being an adult and I need someone else to make hard decisions for me. 
So if you know anyone looking to buy a house you should send them our way!

Swimming is overrated

How many times a week must I be reminded that I'm a crappy mom?  

I think I may have mentioned a time or two on my blog that I hate swimming.  Despise it.  How is it likable to anyone? 

 First, you have to put on a swimsuit.  Blah.  Maybe if I was tan and size 4 I wouldn't mind but since I am neither of those two things I do mind.  I mind a lot.  If swimsuits were banned forever I would be completely okay with that.  More than okay, actually.  Unless that meant people would be swimming in the buff, then I take it all back.  Swimsuits are glorious!

Second, you have to pick your swimming location:  murky lake/ocean/pond water or a swimming pool.  Neither one is a go in my book.  Murky water = weird creatures that you can't see swimming at your feet and possibly dead people (I've seen one too many scary movies).  Swimming pools = other people's nasty bodily stuff.  Pee, snot, hair....excuse me while I go vomit now.  

So to the point of this post.  My kids can't swim because I suck and I hate water.  Dilon had to go swimming for Scouts last night and couldn't pass anything off.  He is 11 and can't swim.  He told his leader it was my fault and went into some story about my repulsion of water.  I'm sure his scout leader was super impressed with me at the moment. Dilon was totally embarrassed for his lack of water skills which left me sitting in bed awake all night (I'm completely exaggerating....I love my sleep) feeling guilty. If he can blame me I can blame him too.  I put the kids in swimming lessons last year and not one of them learned a thing. I'm convinced 10 was not too late in life for him.  By that age he should have just jumped right in and taken off.

My goal for the summer of 2015:

Have at least 1 kid who can swim enough to stay alive (or pass off scouting requirements) by the end of summer.  Now how many trips to Cafe Rio will I have to give up to put them in private swimming lessons? 

Get your grubbly little fingers out of my pink milk!

Can someone please explain this picture to me.  The boys wanted some Lucky Charms, I say there's always room for Lucky Charms so I made myself a bowl too.  Tell me, why do they have to pick through mine when they just ate their own?  Look down boys....your cereal is right there in front of you. Right there. To just eat one meal that little fingers haven't been digging through would be awesome.

So did you notice the pink milk?  That would be Dilon.  If you notice the date of this post it is April Fool's Day.  Dilon woke himself up in the middle of the night to take care of some business. He decided to open all the milk in the fridge and color it.  Pink, blue, green or yellow milk anyone?

The kids are really starting to dig this April Fools stuff.  

Some of the happenings:

frozen socks

drawn on faces

colored milk

colored toilet water

underwear put on heads while sleeping

something that involved tape....still not sure what that was about

clothes that were set out for school being swapped

balls pushed in the toes of shoes (I swear it took grif a good 5 minutes of freaking out that something was wrong with his shoe before he actually decided to look in there to see dax had stuffed it with paper towels and a ball)

and the good old tape the faucet sprayer down so it gets mom wet when she turns on the water.....you fooled me last year, didn't happen again this year! Ha, dilon!  I win.

Monday, we meet again

Well it's Monday again.  yipee...... It's barely 8:30 and I've already managed to pee my pants and have an epic mom fail. 

I went to hang up Grif's church shirt from yesterday (one plus for the day is a load of laundry is marked off my check-list.  Only 37 more to go!) and when I opened the closet door I saw this staring at me

I thought some furry little creature was going to jump out and attack me.  So what do I do?  Stand there and pee my pants a little.  This has happened more than once.  I really, really need to work on my fight or flight response.  I don't even care which one it is as long as the peeing stops. 

On to the mom fail.  It was time to send the Grif off to school.  I look out the window and notice it's raining a little so I hand him an umbrella, give him a kiss, and send him on his way.  I'm the paranoid mom that has to watch out the window as long as I can to make sure he is safe.  That's when I noticed the wind was blowing.  By the time I realized it was really blowing he was halfway to school.  I was hoping and praying the poor kid and the umbrella made it safely when I get a text from my friend.  Her husband had just passed Grif struggling with an umbrella that was flipped up.  I'm sure a 5 minute walk (or 1 minute car ride, if I was a nice mom) took him 25 minutes this morning.  Now I keep picturing the poor kid getting tossed around in the wind with a broken umbrella and his homework flying all over the place.  I'm sure that's exactly what happened too.  Better make the kid some cookies for after school to help heal the pain so I'm not paying for therapy in the future. Now there's something else I'm going to sit and worry about. 

*grifin to therapist* it all started in the fourth grade when my mom made me walk to school on a windy day with an umbrella........

Spring is in the air

Spring has sprung and I couldn't be happier!  Good-bye winter blah's.  Even though we didn't have much of a winter I am ready for the warm.  In the next few months I may be complaining that it's too blasted hot but oh well.  As of now I'm ready for the heat.  Bring it on.  

Mostly I love warm weather because of stuff like this

This melts my heart.
But mowing the lawn in March seems a bit ridiculous, doesn't it? (Nate's the one whose ocd kicked in on this one, not mine).

We took advantage of the warm weather a few weeks ago and headed to the zoo with some of Nate's family.
 I'm still trying to figure out how we left with as many people as we went with.  I was sure with all these little animals in tow one of them would have been put in a cage somewhere.

Happy Spring everyone!

Gobble Gobble

This turkey just finished his kids bowling league yesterday with a turkey (3 strikes in a row) in his very last game.  I mean they do use bumpers but it still totally counts.  He was beyond excited.  I'm sure today everyone from the crossing guard to the lunch ladies have heard all about it.  He took bowling very seriously including calling his bowling instructor Coach.  Best 40 bucks we've ever spent.

This turkey better start running because I've had about enough of his sassiness. 

Baylor decided he wanted to wear Dax's pj's the other night. The pj's are too small for Dax anyway.  He wasn't about to let his little brother have one up on him so he wore Baylor's pj's.  You sure did prove a point there Dax!  

His dad is rubbing off on him.  I ask him to smile so I can take a picture.  This is the only face he will give me.  Dang you Nathan.  (still wish I had a good camera so you could actually see what he's doing. Oh well)

That same night he came to me and this is the conversation we had:

Dax: Mom is there a swear word that starts with H?

Me:  Yes.....

Dax:  What is it?

Me:  Why do you want to know that?

Dax:  I don't know I just thought there was one.

Me:  It's hell.  Don't say it.

Dax:  Haha!  I already knew that now you just said it.  Hahahaha!

He's 5 and he can already outwit me.  I'm in trouble.

Not so happy Valentine's Day

So I've been debating the last week or so whether I should blog about Valentine's Day at the Wright house this year.  It kind of started a fight that lasted for a week but we are finally past it. I think.  

I'm a simple person. I don't need expensive jewelery or fancy dinners. In fact Nate and I are lame and don't normally buy each other presents.  Well he bought me a present this year.  Take one guess what it was.  Let me give you a little hint.  A handgun.  He handed me a freakin handgun.  Was this a joke I was missing the punchline to?  It had to be.  A handgun?  I hate guns.  We already have a few and I'm not real fond of any of them. 14 years we've been together and he knows me about as well as he knows the mailman.  Perfect.

Lets just say my reaction was not quite what he was expecting.  If it would have been placed like a bow on top of a box of cupcakes we would be in business, but just handing me a gun and saying Happy Valentine's Day didn't quite cut it for me.  

He gave me this super awesome gift a couple weeks after he told me he bought a truck.  I thought he was joking.  Turns out the joke was on me.  He has been staying after work everyday this week fixing his "new" truck.  It's a real beauty.  

I'll tell you one thing.  I'm about two seconds away from booking a Disneyland trip and giving it to him as an Anniversary present in March.  Two can play this game, babe.

It's not as fun as it looks

 Anxiously awaiting the day it's his turn to do homework.  You're in for a rude awakening Baylor Von.

Your turn is coming kid

Well it has finally hit me.  I had my "aha" moment last night.  I now know why parents get to embarrass their children as teenagers.  It's to make up for all the times they embarrass us when they are young kids.  Let me tell you one thing, I am going to embarrass the crap out of Baylor to make up for what he did last night.  I just have to document it so I don't forget.

We were waiting in the freakishly slow line at Cafe Rio last night and the kids were being stinkers (there is an intended pun that will soon be coming with that word choice) as usual.  Baylor decided to walk right up to the woman standing in front of us, and when I say right up I mean I could not have slid a piece of paper between the two of them, and sniff her rear.  Wait it gets worse.  He then turns around waving his hand in front of his nose and yells "peeee-yew!" (I have no idea how to spell that and google wasn't much help but you know what I mean, right?)

There were two things at that moment I was very thankful for:

1- She had her back to him (obviously) and was getting ready to order so I don't think she knew what was going on---fingers crossed.

2- I had my back turned to the rest of the people in line so I have no idea how many actually saw him do it.  I'm going to keep pretending no one did besides me and call it good.

These boys are going to be the death of me.