Thursday, March 20, 2014

Sweet revenge

13 years.  13 years I have listened to my man snore so loudly I thought I may end up suffocating him with my pillow.  I remember more that once wanting to punch him in the nose -- I know I have anger issues I need to work on --  especially when I was up with a baby at 3 in the morning and he was snoozing away.  I have kicked his shins so many times I have probably caused permanent bruises.  Then something glorious happened.  I realized he wasn't breathing so I talked him into doing a sleep study.  He was not getting enough oxygen 75% of the night so they put him on a CPAP machine.  The machine is my new best friend.  The only time I have even slightly had an issue with it was once when I woke up in the middle of the night and he was facing me I thought I was lying next to Hannibal Lecter.  I had a mini heart attack.  

This morning when he woke up he pulled out the iPad and started up a recording of ME snoring last night. There is a positive side to having a sinus infection.  Sweet, sweet victory.  FINALLY it was him who had to listen to me!  It only took 13 years but it was finally my turn.

See, this is why I am going to hell.  Instead of feeling bad about it, I am basking in the glory.

Disclaimer:  I do love nate. There will be no smothering him with a pillow or punching him in the face.

Monday, March 10, 2014

Am I the world's meanest mom?

Tell me, what kind of a parent gives a kid a present and then takes it away a couple months later?  That's right.  This parent does.  I destroyed a 10 year old's world today when I told him that he would no longer be allowed to play one of the video games he got for Christmas.  Had I known in the first place how violent it was I would have never agreed to it.  I kind of knew but figured it would be okay because he has a lot of friends that get to play it.  I tried to let it be okay but couldn't handle it anymore.  I told Nate it needed to go away and he agreed.  Dilon left the house this morning without saying a word to me.  I can only yell "I love you" so many times before someone ends up calling the cops because there is a crazy lady repeatedly telling a kid how much she loves him as he walks down the sidewalk.  It's a good thing I didn't die today or he might have actually felt bad for ignoring me.  He'll get over it, right?  When did he get old enough to start having such an attitude with me anyway?  Probably the same time he got old enough to start taking selfies with my camera. 

 He can take all of his pent up anger out at wrestling this week. 

Shockingly when I told Grif he just shrugged his shoulders and said ok.  That boy is such a puzzle to me. He gets angry over the fact that I make him pee before he goes to school but doesn't give two hoots about losing a video game he loves as well.  Speaking of puzzles look at the way I found him putting one together the other day.  I would love to know what goes on inside that boys head.
He put all the pieces where they belonged then connected them.  Interesting approach. 

This boy doesn't care to bother with video games, he just wants to play with his mom.  I'm much funner than a PS3 any day.

Then there's this guy who just pulls out the whole woe is me act when I don't give him what he wants. 

I just may be the meanest mom in the whole wide world.  (especially if you ask dilon today.)