Just a bit of a heads up, this will probably be a long post. Too many memories......
Today is my little miracle mans birthday. It has brought back so many memories it is crazy to think a year has already gone by. But at the same time it feels like it was forever ago. Here's a bit of a back story on my little Baylor boy. I know I have already blogged about his story months ago and I was going to just attach the link to it but technology hates me. I seriously have no clue how to do it.
Anyway, when I was prego with Baylor we were told at our 20 week ultra sound to prepare for the worst. Something was wrong with our baby. They didn't know what but IF he survived he would have a genetic disorder. I was heartbroken but was trying to prepare for whatever would come our way. Two weeks later we went back for the test results and another ultra sound and there wasn't a thing wrong. The docs couldn't believe it. I can't even begin to explain the feeling you get from hearing them say everything is okay. So we did our little happy dance and were so thankful there weren't going to be any problems.
Oh we were so wrong about that. It's funny how you plan on everything in life working the way you think it is supposed to be. I wonder what Heavenly Father thinks when we sit down here and talk about our plans. I wasn't even the least bit prepared for what was about to hit us a year ago. The day after Bay was born they whisked him away on life flight because they knew something was wrong with his belly/bladder/intestines they just weren't sure what it was. So off he went to have emergency exploratory surgery. They found a hole in his bowels, patched it up, gave him a colostomy, and admitted him to the NICU at Primary Children's. We spent the next three weeks going back and forth everyday to see him in the hospital.
When we finally got the all clear to go home I was so excited I couldn't stand it. Then we actually got home and I had a baby with a colostomy bag. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't even look at it without wanting to pass out. I'm not lying when I say that. For the first couple weeks it took all I had not to hit the floor when we had to clean it and change it...every.single.day! It sure was a struggle then but I look back now and think I could totally do that again. If that was the worst we were going through I need to just shut my mouth and say a great big thank you. My baby was finally home.
However, it was awkward trying to snuggle him when I was afraid I was going to pop the bag open. I was so excited to get it off of him even though I dreaded taking him back to have his second surgery. 2 1/2 months later off we went. I knew he would have to stay in the hospital again and no kid should ever have to be there. The nurses and docs were so fantastic (really I can not say enough good things about Primary's) but it is just not the place I wanted him to be. But we made it through another hospital stay (only a week that time, yay!).
Taking him home for good, healthy and happy, was one of the best things I have ever experienced.
Fast forward a year and this is what we have: a healthy little monster who is walking (sort of, he can't go too far but he is going), talking, eating like crazy, pulling everything out of drawers, screaming at everything, biting, slapping, eating, loving, cuddling and eating (did I mention that yet?). What would I do without him?
This is all that is left of the scar on his belly. Barely noticeable.
I am grateful we are past that. I appreciate healthy kids so much more now than I ever did before Baylor came along. I often wonder about the other little ones that were there when we were. My heart still breaks for the families there who didn't get to take their little ones home. We are blessed beyond measure.
Like I said at the first of this super duper long post (sorry), I have so many memories. Some I hope I forget and some I hope I never forget.
Some things I wish I could forget.......(by the way, isn't it funny how I can't remember to take the keys out of the door after I unlock it, but I can remember every detail of stuff like this.........)
**Seeing the surgeon dig into his infected wound and hearing his little screams as he was doing it. The nurse finally looked at nate and told him to take me out.
**Those families in the hall crying and knowing their outcome was not going to be the same as ours.
**That darn drive to Salt Lake every day for a month.
**Leaving a crying Dax at home every morning.
**Leaving a sick baby in the hospital every night.
**That darn cafeteria food.
Some things I hope I never forget........
**The incredible support we had from family and friends. It is absolutely humbling what others do to help.
**How strong Nate is. When I couldn't even look at bay's colostomy he stepped right in to learn what we needed to do to care for it. Plus he couldn't be there everyday because of work and I know that killed him.
**After an extra hard day I had a stranger in the elevator put her hand on my arm and ask me if I was going to be okay.
**I had super awesome grandma's, volunteers, and nurses holding and loving my baby when I was at home holding and loving my other babies.
**Most importantly I hope I never forget how fortunate we are to have such great medical help at our fingertips.
I love you Baylor. We were told you weren't supposed to be here but obviously the Lord has other plans for you. I'm sorry you had to go through what you did but you are one tough little stinker. You are such a little fighter.
Happy Happy Birthday Bay!!!
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