The games people play

We have a little game at this house the kids like to play.  It is always played at night time or in the wee hours of the morning.  To play you have to be 3 or younger or else be the mom.  I lose this game 89% of the time.  Nate has lost, well never.  You see, I don't think Nate has actually ever played. I say it's his turn very,very soon.  It starts with a kid who needs to be sleeping but isn't for some unknown reason.  He quietly (as quiet as a 2 year old can be) sneaks into my room, climbs on my bed, falls on my face a time or two, and squeezes between me and the hubs.  We have a king size bed but Nate thinks his spot is smack dab in the middle which leaves me hugging the edge. It's awesome. The next move in this super fun game is me dragging my tired rear out of my nice warm bed and half sleeping take the 2 year old back to his bed.  Minus two points for me for running into the door frame giving me a bruise on my forehead and a stubbed little toe.  What is the point of that little pinky toe anyway.  I swear it was only put on my foot to be stubbed time and time again.  Back to the game.  I get the two year old in bed tucked in nice and tight.  I slowly turn to walk away and test the waters to see if  he is actually going to stay there.  Not happening.  He shoots up just as soon as he watches me walk out of the room.  I do a 180 in half a second flat to make sure he does not jump out of bed again.  I have no other choice but to climb in bed with him.  Score 5 points for the 2 year old.  I lay there for what seems like 3 weeks until I hear the long deep breathing sounds I have been waiting for.  Now is the challenging part of the game.  I need to somehow maneuver my way out of his bed.  He has his armed wrapped around my neck in a death grip and his leg wrapped half way around my waist.  It takes me another 3 weeks to get detached from the kid.  Every few minutes his breathing becomes irregular and I freeze in some awkward contortionist pose because I just know he is waking up and I can't - I won't - let that happen.  I ignore the charlie horse that feels like it's ripping my calf apart.  I am super human at 3 in the morning.  A charlie horse stands no chance against this 2 year old I must not wake.  Finally.  Freedom.  5 more points for this mom.  I pull out my James Bond moves and avoid every creak in the floor until I am snuggled back in my warm bed hugging the edge again.  I wouldn't want to wake up the hubs and make him move over.  I am right in that floaty feel good state, almost asleep, when my heart sinks.  I hear the pitter-patter of little feet running into my room again.  I give up.  You win 2 year old.  Well played little buddy.  Well played.