run rudolph run

I'm in one of those moods.  I saw something that I thought nobody should ever do.  Then once my crazy mind starts turning I just can't shut it down.  I started thinking about a bunch of things that people should never do.  Here are a few. (and yes, I am slightly ocd so I like to make lists)

**Never eat rudolph.  This is what started the whole thing.  I turned it to a cooking show, thought it was interesting, then I found out the host was eating reindeer meat--who does that?

**Never wear spandex in public unless you are going to the gym.  Even then it's iffy.  When we went to Disneyland I could not believe the number of people who showed up in spandex.  It is the happiest place on earth people.  Lets keep it that way.

**Never play peek-a-boo with a kid in the back seat while stopped at a stop light.  Other drivers may or may not think you are crazy.

**Never mop the kitchen floor right before lunch time.  It has been proven (at this house) that every single child eating will spill something on it.  

**At the risk of offending many people with this one I am still going to say it -- never drive a mini van unless you have 3 or more children.  Why would you want to drop your coolness level down ten notches just for the practicality of van.  Ok, secretly I really do want one.  I just can't afford to lose any more of my coolness.  I'm teetering on the edge of extreme nerdiness as it is and that would just push me right over.  Am I already over the edge and I just don't know it?  Come on--someone tell me the truth.  I can handle it.

**Never tell your mom you're not scared of her.  If she's anything like my mom, I guarantee you will be scared of her after saying it.  Learned that the hard way.

**Never blow your nose in a restaurant.  It kills me how many people do that when others are trying to enjoy their slimy clam chowder.  gag!  The only thing worse is when they follow it by sticking their kleenex covered finger up their nose, all the way to their knuckle just to fish out what they couldn't blow out.  You know who you are.  Stop it!

**as long as I'm making you gag, please never ever pick your scabs off your neck in public and eat them.  Yes, I have actually seen this--more than once.  Do you think I could make this stuff up?

**Never let other people see that you still know how to do the Macarena.  It wasn't okay then.  Not okay now.

**Never get in line behind an extreme couponer.  If you see someone holding a pen and folder turn around and run baby.  I repeat, turn and run.  I think stores should have designated hours for those who have more than 3 coupons.  Let them all wait behind each other.  I'm all about a good bargain but come on people, it's getting annoying.

**my kids should learn to Never keep going into the pantry during dinner time.  I know you are in there spitting your dinner in the garbage.  What you don't know is I am just putting more right back on your plate.  Don't mess with me.

**Never challenge your grandma to an arm wrestle.  She just might win.   In my defense, I can't help that she is freakishly strong.  She is married to a farmer and raised nine kids.  I should have known better.  Well played grandma, well played.

**Never ask a stay at home mom what she does all day.  You may not live to see the next sunrise.

**Never bite off more than you can chew.  Literally.  It's not attractive to see what is going on in there.

**If you are an adult male Never admit to loving the Twilight series.  Always, always say that your wife made you go.  All of you adult females who go with your girlfriends and wear "team edward" shirts like you are still in high school, it's time to stop doing that now. 

**Never try to teach your kid to ride a bike, without training wheels, in the path of a mailbox.  Actually, if you have a tough kid, go ahead and try it.  According to nate it is quite hilarious.  

**On a similar note, Never get in the path of the before mentioned bike riding kid unless you want to look like you are dancing on hot coals in front of your neighbors.  Do I go left?  Do I go right?  Left? Right?  Left? Right?  (it's a hard decision when you are about to get plowed over.  Who knows what direction they are going to take.)

** Never wear shin high socks with capri pants.  Actually, if you throw on a fanny pack and a visor it's okay.  You go ahead and rock that look.

Wow, I apologize for that long post.  I extra apologize if I have offended anyone.  But that sure felt good to get off my chest.